You Need a Life Girl Friend!

I have just finished reading an article on the BBC news from the UK about the Apple I-Phone that was launched yesterday in the US. The girl you see pictured here was third in line to get an I-phone having been in line waiting for THREE days out side the Apple Store on New York's Fifth Avenue.
Jessica, after emerging with her new phone, had this to say

"It feels great, oh my God, overwhelming. I never thought this day would come - and now it finally has, it's mind-blowing," she said.

"We got no sleep with the rain and the dump trucks going back and forth. I'm going to go home and sleep and play with my phone a little bit."

Am I crazy or this nuts? Do people not have enough to do or has going to the park or reading a book or just having fun with family and friends so gone by the wayside that we are excited enough about a piece of metal to stand in line for three days for it!!!?
Now I could understand her statements if she had just got married, had a baby,found a cure for a life threatening disease or found a way for there to be peace all over the world. Not for a TELEPHONE!!!
I have a message for Jessica -
"Hey Girl Friend - you need a life.
No seriously Jessica I am worried about you. You have far too little to occupy you. If you have three days to spare why not do something productive with them. How about volunteering for you local seniors home or animal shelter or food bank. Anything except lose three days of your life just to give money to a corporate entity that could care less if next week you were hit by a bus except that you would not be able to honor that three year mega money contract you signed for to get this phone. "

Take my advice!
I'm sure your a great person Jessica !
Meet some friends who want to spend time with you. Give you a hug and a smile, not just talk or message you on that machine. Walk on the beach, go to the park, or watch the sunset from your window.
Trust me Jessica, life is far too short to spend three days sitting on a side walk waiting to spend a fortune for a piece of man made polluting metal junk!

This Says it All Today!

Rosebud

The past weekend was Delta Family Days here in North Delta and everyone goes out to watch the parade and gather at the Annieville Park for some great food and fun! I had a sore foot so I didn't manage to do much, but take a few pictures.
This year Bob, the President of the North Delta NDP Riding & Al, the Vice President's husband rode in the parade in Al's car Rosebud!
Ain't she pretty?
Rosebud that is!

Gordon Campbell & Breaking Contracts.......

Wisdom according to Jones Cola...

Your life will be full of true friendships.

Tonight I am at my friend's house looking after her dogs and cat and birds and hoping that all is well with her and thinking about some of my friends who I have not seen in a long time.

The couple in the picture are two of my very best friends. I met them shortly after they arrived from China along with their young daughter. This picture says everything about them and the happiness they always bring with them. I think they are two of the most optimistic and hard working people I have ever met. They always have a smile and a kind word for others and even more so for their friends. I have never been to their house that they have not offered me something to eat or drink and if I needed anything they were always the first to offer their support to me. Right now they are living in someone's spare bedroom waiting for their new townhouse to be built. They are very stressed as the builder is four months behind and doesn't care. I feel bad for them and they are taking it with a smile and making Chinese food every night for their host. I have learned that language and cultural barriers can be over come in friendships and I have felt the rewards that come with over coming these barriers. I have been able to learn so much from them about their country and the view points they bring with them to this country. They are both Canadian citizens now and even though part of them will always be with their other friends and family in China I know that they are dedicated to this country and this new family and friends they have made here. Despite the fact that I feel they have given me far more than I have ever given them I hope that they will always know that I love them dearly.

Please Hear What I'm Not Saying

Don't be fooled by me.
Don't be fooled by the face I wear
for I wear a mask, a thousand masks,
masks that I'm afraid to take off,
and none of them is me.

Pretending is an art that's second nature with me,
but don't be fooled,
for God's sake don't be fooled.
I give you the impression that I'm secure,
that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well
as without,
that confidence is my name and coolness my game,
that the water's calm and I'm in command
and that I need no one,
but don't believe me.
My surface may seem smooth but my surface is my mask,
ever-varying and ever-concealing.
Beneath lies no complacence.
Beneath lies confusion, and fear, and aloneness.
But I hide this. I don't want anybody to know it.
I panic at the thought of my weakness exposed.
That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind,
a nonchalant sophisticated facade,
to help me pretend,
to shield me from the glance that knows.

But such a glance is precisely my salvation, my only hope,
and I know it.
That is, if it's followed by acceptance,
if it's followed by love.
It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself,
from my own self-built prison walls,
from the barriers I so painstakingly erect.
It's the only thing that will assure me
of what I can't assure myself,
that I'm really worth something.
But I don't tell you this. I don't dare to, I'm afraid to.
I'm afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance,
will not be followed by love.
I'm afraid you'll think less of me,
that you'll laugh, and your laugh would kill me.
I'm afraid that deep-down I'm nothing
and that you will see this and reject me.

So I play my game, my desperate pretending game,
with a facade of assurance without
and a trembling child within.
So begins the glittering but empty parade of masks,
and my life becomes a front.
I idly chatter to you in the suave tones of surface talk.
I tell you everything that's really nothing,
and nothing of what's everything,
of what's crying within me.
So when I'm going through my routine
do not be fooled by what I'm saying.
Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying,
what I'd like to be able to say,
what for survival I need to say,
but what I can't say.

I don't like hiding.
I don't like playing superficial phony games.
I want to stop playing them.
I want to be genuine and spontaneous and me
but you've got to help me.
You've got to hold out your hand
even when that's the last thing I seem to want.
Only you can wipe away from my eyes
the blank stare of the breathing dead.
Only you can call me into aliveness.
Each time you're kind, and gentle, and encouraging,
each time you try to understand because you really care,
my heart begins to grow wings--
very small wings,
very feeble wings,
but wings!

With your power to touch me into feeling
you can breathe life into me.
I want you to know that.
I want you to know how important you are to me,
how you can be a creator--an honest-to-God creator--
of the person that is me
if you choose to.
You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble,
you alone can remove my mask,
you alone can release me from my shadow-world of panic,
from my lonely prison,
if you choose to.
Please choose to.

Do not pass me by.
It will not be easy for you.
A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls.
The nearer you approach to me
the blinder I may strike back.
It's irrational, but despite what the books say about man
often I am irrational.
I fight against the very thing I cry out for.
But I am told that love is stronger than strong walls
and in this lies my hope.
Please try to beat down those walls
with firm hands but with gentle hands
for a child is very sensitive.

Who am I, you may wonder?
I am someone you know very well.
For I am every man you meet
and I am every woman you meet.

Charles C. Finn
September 1966

Secrets and Lies

I have just finished a book called " The Memory Keeper's Daughter" by Kim Edwards

This book is about our vain efforts to control our lives or the lives of others with lies and secrets. In 1984 during a snowstorm a doctor delivers his own twins with the help of his office nurse. One child, a boy, is born perfectly healthy and normal. The other twin, a girl, is born with down syndrome. In that era people were very much ignorant of the abilities and delight that people with down syndrome bring to the lives of their families. Instead many families hid these children in institutions never even telling other family members about them. In this case the doctor believing that most down syndrome children die at an early age from heart disease and remembering the pain and loss he had experienced in his early years with the loss of his sister who also had a heart condition, decides to spare the woman he loves all that pain. While his wife is still unconscious he gives his daughter to his office nurse and tells her to take the child to a home in the country that takes in children with downs syndrome. He then told his wife the lie and carried the secret inside himself for the rest of his life.
The secret took on a life of it's own sowing seeds of distrust and building walls around those who knowingly or unknowingly were involved. Eventually the secret destroyed what the man had so desperately sought to protect. His life and the lives of those around him were for ever altered and changed. Although he told the lie and kept the secret with the intention of keeping his wife from the pain of losing a child he created for her a very different kind of pain. He was a kind and giving doctor , but after his death he was remembered not for these good things, but for the lie he had told that proved destructive to all around him.
While I found the book slow to read and laborious at times it had an impact on me because in my own life I am dealing with a similar situation and while some people did things with the best of intentions it has brought nothing but despair to the lives of those involved. It manages to kill friendships and destroy trust.
The book reminds me of an essay I wrote for a course I was taking many years ago. We were asked to write about what we thought the most valuable personal quality anyone could develop. I wrote about integrity. The following is my essay:
The most valuable personal quality anyone can develop in life is integrity. “Integrity”, described by the Oxford dictionary as “moral excellence” is not just about doing the right thing, but in the words of Oprah Winfrey “Real integrity is doing the right thing knowing that nobody is going to know whether you did or not”. Every day all of us are faced with making numerous decisions. However, decisions such as where to live, what career to pursue or what investments to make while important to your life’s stability are not decisions that test our morals. It is the decisions we make that probe our conscience that determine our moral fortitude. Things such as whether or not to cheat on our income tax, lie to our boss or not give back that extra change that the teenage clerk in the 7-11 inadvertently gave to you. Science has shown that each of us is born with some genetic character traits such as being shy or being extroverted. Even our I.Q. and sense of humor is determined in part by our genes. Integrity, however, is not something we are born with. Integrity is a learned behavior. If we are lucky we will be born into a family that can help us learn to live lives of integrity. Not only will they demonstrate integrity by the way they live their own lives, but they will nurture and discipline us with love in such a way that we understand what integrity is all about. They will teach us things such as why cheating on exams and assignment is only cheating yourself and how lying, even white lies, always catch up to us and can destroy our self confidence and all our relationships. Families with a strong sense of integrity allow us to learn the importance of listening to our conscience. If we have the misfortune to be born into a situation where integrity is not taught or given a high priority we can still learn to live with integrity. Living a life of moral excellence is a choice. Integrity allows us to live full happy lives. If we make it a practice to always choose the honest and right thing to do when making tough decisions then we will never have to worry about the outcome of those decisions. After all, we are only human and we all make mistakes. However, if we have applied high moral principles to the decisions we make we will never have to worry about our reputation and our conscience will never keep us awake at night.

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to fit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
They swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's the arch of my back
The sun in my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing,
I ought to make you proud
I say,
It's the click of my heals,
The bend of my hair,
The need for my care.
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman.

Thats me.

Maya Angelou