Thursday, July 28, 2011

In Honour of Pride Week - Why Can't You Own A Canadian?

Show your colors Vancouver! 

This is Pride Week in Vancouver and in my opinion this is one of the best celebrations that we have here.  Not only is it a lot of fun, but it brings together such a diverse group of people all co-operating and having a lot of fun without a lot of trouble.
Every year my partner and I participate in the parade. I take lots of pictures and usually post them on here and my flickr page so everyone can share  a bit of the fun. Unfortunately this year we are unable to go to the parade. We have a wedding for a close friend to attend.  However, this piece was sent to me the other day.I have no idea where the original post came from but "thank you " to whoever posted this.  It gave me a chuckle. In honor of Pride Week and because listening to Dr. Laura makes me retch I have reprinted this for your amusement.

In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant
Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus
18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.

The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, written by a US man,
and posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I
have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that
knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend
the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that
Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination ... End of
that debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other
elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and
female, provided they are from neighboring nations. A friend of mine
claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you
clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in
Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair
price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her
period of Menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how
do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors.
They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus
35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated
to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than
homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there
'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I
have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading
glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair
around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.
19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes
me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two
different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments
made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also
tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go
to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them?
Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family
affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy
considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help.
Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan.

James M. Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus,
Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education
University of Virginia

PS: It would be a @#$% shame if we couldn't own a Canadian


  1. Anonymous4:59 PM

    I dunno - Mexicans are happy to work and be owned, while Canadians would complain that owning a Mexican is a perversion of multiculturalism. And basically Mexicans work harder than Canadians for less money. So I'm not sure owning a Canadian would yield a good ROI. Maybe renting them would, but only if the exchange rate was favorable.

  2. I enjoyed the tongue in cheek letter to Dr. Laura, who is such a rude a woman who makes me retch as well.
    To analienmind i seriously disagree on your statement re Mexicans working harder than Canadians for less pay. I believe Canadians are the hardest working people on this earth and are well worth whatever wages they get.